my friends are a bit older now (as am i) and the marriage season has passed. well, let me rephrase that. the wedding-ceremony-and-huge-party-afterwards season is no longer in play. folks don't really do that on their repeated attempts at cracking the code for marital success. come to think of it, sonja and i were the last of our friends to tie the knot. either that, or we weren't invited to anyone else's celebration. jerks.
sonja's friend (and mine too, thank you very much) Emily got married last weekend up in eden prairie, mn. she is a great gal who teaches 6th grade science in the public schools. she and sonja met up at the university of minnesota, where they both studied with julia bogorad-kogan, principal flutist of the saint paul chamber orchestra. she married this guy named josh who, for all intents and purposes, seems like a cool guy and good for emily. too bad he's a twins fan, but hey - we've all got our flaws.
like most weddings, the crux of the ceremony is pretty straight forward and predictable. music, family, read some stuff, light a candle or two, swap rings, swap spit, thunderous applause. the same goes for most gigs. schlep gear, take forever figuring out what to play, lots of solos from the horn players, drums are too loud, can't hear the bass, say you'll take requests but turn down the plea for some pat benatar, smattering of applause.
there are also memorable moments that occur in both arenas, snafus that are forever etched into the nooks and crannies of our unused brain space.
at emily's wedding, they prepared to light the unity candle and realized that nobody had a match. they called out for a lighter and none of the attendees could provide one. finally, a worker bee from the country club emerged with a bic and the ritual proceeded. the judge who married the blissful couple had this great radio dj voice (no, not like that over-saturated homeless dude). as he introduced the next reading, some weird dance metal synth music hijacked the air waves and started blasting it's infectious dance groove while the deep vocals barked "apache". the reader approached the front of the room, busting a spontaneous and hilarious dance move before immediately switching into a deadpan reading of some biblical passage once the music stopped.
i remember hearing my friend pete play con alma at a college jazz festival. his loose ligature resulted in him squeaking every other note, leaving us in stitches. ethan iverson sang a really out version of my funny valentine when i saw the bad plus back in 2002 at the dakota. my college buddy geoff mocked the schmaltzy ending to a voicesiowa rendition of body and soul, one in which they sing the eddie jefferson vocalise set to the famous coleman hawkins solo. bean rips through the end, and the singers make it a big emotional ritard.
however - there are also gems that happen in both weddings and live music that are longstanding memories for me. one of emily's readings reminded us that, in marriage, the little things are the big things. i once saw the mingus big band play duke ellington's sound of love without any rehearsal, which became obvious when they hit a fermata towards the end of the tune. leader steve slagle looked to his right and quietly uttered "potter", asking the tenor saxophonist to finish it up. chris potter stood up and delivered an earth moving impromptu cadenza.
i like going to weddings. i know i probably shouldn't need it (and hate to admit it), but i benefit from being reminded of the importance of true love, the perils of marriage and their tremendous rewards, and the understanding that your village of friends and family is the net underneath the couple that is traversing the world together.
i like hearing live music. i know i probably shouldn't need it (and hate to admit it), but i benefit from being reminded of the importance of genuine artistry, the responsibility of understanding the musical heritage that has come before while surging forward with a fresh approach, and the awareness that keeping your head up while hammering away at your art will keep you inspired and encouraged to keep on keeping on.
dig this video of the wedding gig drummer
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