reunited and it feels so good

i have learned a great life lesson.  expecting the best out of people and situations often proves to be surprisingly beneficial and enjoyable.

i was never too thrilled with my high school years, neither during the throws of them or in moments of reflection.  life is tough on the artsy fartsy, especially when you're slugging it out in small town u.s.a.  i had friends but never considered myself popular, had a couple of relationships but never considered myself attractive, had some success but never considered myself successful.  i suppose you can chalk some of that up to being a teenager.  i liked plenty of my classmates, could take-or-leave a fair amount of them, and utterly despised a handful.

with that as my foundation, i was never motivated to stay in touch with anyone from my first 17 years.  facebook has fixed some of that, cloaked as a mild-mannered stalker who has limited access to its victim's discretion.  my folks still live in my hometown, and their proximity to the gossip wheel keeps me loosely up to speed every six months or so.  those two resources have more than satisfied my meager curiosity.

i had a class reunion this weekend.  i had never attended one before.  we missed sonja's because of an insurmountable scheduling obstacle (hello, des moines opera).  i wasn't sure i wanted to attend this gathering.  plenty of people told me to consider going.  recos for handling included wear black (the slimming color), make a beeline to the bar, create some wild tales of my life and share them liberally, and leave the car running so i could split at a moment's notice.

my wife was down for going.  my folks encouraged it.  a couple of high school pals emailed me and asked when i was coming to town.  i got my workouts in.  my botched haircut was growing back nicely.  the poison oak all over my arms was all dried up.  i had the weekend free.  i went for it.

i admit, i was SUPER nervous.  i am usually insecure about myself, but plenty of people in my corner had filled my ears with ego boosting observations.  i had a good workout before we drove down to my old stomping grounds.  i found a couple of flattering outfits, brushed the hell out of those teeth one last time, buzzed off that tacky ear hair, and headed over to the venue.  i reviewed my senior yearbook with sonja, refreshing my memory about who was actually in my class and getting a quick glimpse at what they looked like back in the day.  who was planning to show up at this thing anyway? what would i talk about with these people?  what do i have in common with them?  could i get past my disinterest, fear, and disgust?  do they have any idea what i have done with my life? do they even care?

you know... they did.  i bumped into several people that i hadn't seen in so long.  we shared memories, swapped stories about our kids, dug into each others' careers, watched other classmates together, and enjoyed deep belly laughs about days gone by.  yeah, the jocks were still the jocks.  the snooty girls were still kinda snooty, but actually much more real than i had figured.  many of our teenage bodies had undergone life's revisions - some for the better.  i caught up with buddies that i hadn't seen in ages and reconnected with classmates i had known since kindergarten.

quick synopsis:  one guy is a advocate for prisoners.  one gal has lost a sister to cancer.  some have been married for 15 years.  others are divorced.  many have stayed in iowa. others are trying desperately to move back.  one is unemployed. several are pharmacists and nurses.  a couple are full time moms.  some farm.  one gal teaches yoga.  another sells jewelry. one guy fixes windshields.  another manages a bank. some have lost their folks.  some are teachers, others self employed.  a bunch have kids.  one gal has gone back to school.  another runs a trucking company with her husband. one guy sells real estate.  some love traveling.  and a bunch are cyclone fans!

what do they all have in common?  we are all in the same boat, middle-aged citizens in society trying to make our way.  i had a wonderful time.  no posturing.  lots of down-to-earth conversations that slipped past the protective surface.  some people told me that they liked to see me smile, hear me laugh. they all loved sonja (who could resist that southern charm?). i was back in the comfort zone i never really knew i had.

i love talking about records, concerts, tunes, projects.  i dig playing alongside people, creating and inventing new ideas for our ears and heads.  i enjoy teaching, sharing concepts, guiding people through their personal paths in music and life. i will continue to put my kids and the wife at the center of my personal universe.  but every once in a while, i need to balance myself out.  i want to talk to friends about stuff that has nothing to do with my job or my passion.  hanging at a basketball gym or sitting at a soccer field or being cooped up with some p90x videos doesn't always cut it.

thank you to my creston classmates for giving me some perspective and a renewed faith in society.  you are wonderful people.  thanks for liking me.  i really needed that.

o joshua, where art thou?

ever heard of this guy named joshua redman?  it's quite the story.  he's the son of avant garde leader and tenor saxophonist dewey redman.  he grew up in berkeley, listening to a bunch of heavy jazz guys while tripping on the beatles, stevie, prince, and aretha.  smart cookie - graduated harvard summa cum laude (reminds of that clever line by luda in that old usher tune) and was accepted to yale law school.  won the monk competition.  great new face for jazz.  good looking, charismatic, catchy original tunes with catchier titles, fashion sense, and a flare for the dramatic (a friend told me once that he had seen redman taking some choreography lessons which, come to think of it, isn't a bad idea for an often tired style of music).

so... what happened?  when i first got into josh in '94, i picked up his self-titled album.  cool tunes, nice original sound, and something i desperately needed to see & hear. folks were flipping me old recordings of bird & diz, monk, the basie band, and i wasn't feeling it.  when i saw pics of josh looking all fresh and heard him doing tunes by james brown and monk mixed in with some originals, it may have been the first time that i considered jazz to be a viable style of music (don't tell my professors at the music school from that period in my life).  i quickly snagged his sophomore effort wish (one of my favorites) and dug the work out of pat & charlie & billy.  the pics looked stylish, the live tracks were happening, and man - his phrasing was out of this world. his sound was fat and warm, agile and flexy, youthful and wise. he geniusly paired songs by stevie and clapton with ornette and bird.  he was leading this music single handedly back into relevance with a younger demographic.

i'm listening to his latest effort james farm and am reminded of how disappointed i am in how things have shaken down for joshua redman.   is it him or is it me?  that's a loaded question, i understand, but i am still puzzled about this.  i imagine that my musical tastes and goals and beliefs have changed significantly since that first encounter with josh's musicianship, and could then only assume that his have too. maybe he wants to be more scientific.  maybe he wants to slow down a bit in terms of energy.  maybe he isn't interested in taking so many uncalculated risks.  as a parent of two boys and someone that sees himself sliding up into higher age brackets, i can understand all of this.

is he a victim of the hype?  there was a huge buzz about him when he hit the scene.  he was featured all over the place - tv, magazines, festivals, movies, interviews, merch, etc.  he sat in on snl sets, toured with derek trucks and jammed with umphrey's mcgee.  jazz is often in need of a fresh faced messiah, and he seemed to fit the bill.  lots of jazz musicians are more about their own thing than they are about reaching across the divide to the listener.  josh was bestowed all sorts of honors and responsibilities, sought out and otherwise.  he served as artistic director for sfjazz, a non-profit and highly influential jazz machine.  is this too much all at once?  maybe, but he's the perfect package.

he was tremendous early in his career, which begs several questions. was it the players?  early co-conspirators included brian blade, brad mehldau, christian mcbride.  the aforementioned have all blossomed into their own bandleaderships with distinctly different voices.  i'm relieved to know that he is touring with brad (whom i LOVE) in a duo setting.  i was also curious to hear what he sounded like with my faves the bad plus when they did a week long residency at the blue note this spring.  i have it on pretty good authority that he was about as polar opposite as you could be with those guys throughout their run.  is it his fault that he was set up with a counter-opposite trio, most likely as a marketing trick?  sure it may have sold tickets, but i was told that it defeated the music in the process.  tbp is free flowing and tight and exploratory and risky, while redman was surgical and safe and transcribable.

he is undoubtably a great guy - bright, eloquent, big sound, musical, personable, handsome, versatile.  i really dig joshua redman, wish, moodswing, elastic, and a saturday night live appearance with jewel.  he is his own man.  i wouldn't compare him to other tenor players either.  i don't view myself as an alto player, nor do i size myself up next to other altoists. i try to keep stride with ornette, derek bailey, dolphy, dave douglas, kurt, keith underwood, jaco, joan sutherland, and could care less what other alto players are up to.  comparing josh to other tenor players of his time would be unfair.

my tastes have probably changed - his too - throughout our joint evolution.  maybe we are simply growing apart, although that sounds like i am married to the guy.  we aren't, btw.

now... with all that said... this is killing