i was never too thrilled with my high school years, neither during the throws of them or in moments of reflection. life is tough on the artsy fartsy, especially when you're slugging it out in small town u.s.a. i had friends but never considered myself popular, had a couple of relationships but never considered myself attractive, had some success but never considered myself successful. i suppose you can chalk some of that up to being a teenager. i liked plenty of my classmates, could take-or-leave a fair amount of them, and utterly despised a handful.
with that as my foundation, i was never motivated to stay in touch with anyone from my first 17 years. facebook has fixed some of that, cloaked as a mild-mannered stalker who has limited access to its victim's discretion. my folks still live in my hometown, and their proximity to the gossip wheel keeps me loosely up to speed every six months or so. those two resources have more than satisfied my meager curiosity.
i had a class reunion this weekend. i had never attended one before. we missed sonja's because of an insurmountable scheduling obstacle (hello, des moines opera). i wasn't sure i wanted to attend this gathering. plenty of people told me to consider going. recos for handling included wear black (the slimming color), make a beeline to the bar, create some wild tales of my life and share them liberally, and leave the car running so i could split at a moment's notice.
my wife was down for going. my folks encouraged it. a couple of high school pals emailed me and asked when i was coming to town. i got my workouts in. my botched haircut was growing back nicely. the poison oak all over my arms was all dried up. i had the weekend free. i went for it.
i admit, i was SUPER nervous. i am usually insecure about myself, but plenty of people in my corner had filled my ears with ego boosting observations. i had a good workout before we drove down to my old stomping grounds. i found a couple of flattering outfits, brushed the hell out of those teeth one last time, buzzed off that tacky ear hair, and headed over to the venue. i reviewed my senior yearbook with sonja, refreshing my memory about who was actually in my class and getting a quick glimpse at what they looked like back in the day. who was planning to show up at this thing anyway? what would i talk about with these people? what do i have in common with them? could i get past my disinterest, fear, and disgust? do they have any idea what i have done with my life? do they even care?
you know... they did. i bumped into several people that i hadn't seen in so long. we shared memories, swapped stories about our kids, dug into each others' careers, watched other classmates together, and enjoyed deep belly laughs about days gone by. yeah, the jocks were still the jocks. the snooty girls were still kinda snooty, but actually much more real than i had figured. many of our teenage bodies had undergone life's revisions - some for the better. i caught up with buddies that i hadn't seen in ages and reconnected with classmates i had known since kindergarten.
quick synopsis: one guy is a advocate for prisoners. one gal has lost a sister to cancer. some have been married for 15 years. others are divorced. many have stayed in iowa. others are trying desperately to move back. one is unemployed. several are pharmacists and nurses. a couple are full time moms. some farm. one gal teaches yoga. another sells jewelry. one guy fixes windshields. another manages a bank. some have lost their folks. some are teachers, others self employed. a bunch have kids. one gal has gone back to school. another runs a trucking company with her husband. one guy sells real estate. some love traveling. and a bunch are cyclone fans!
what do they all have in common? we are all in the same boat, middle-aged citizens in society trying to make our way. i had a wonderful time. no posturing. lots of down-to-earth conversations that slipped past the protective surface. some people told me that they liked to see me smile, hear me laugh. they all loved sonja (who could resist that southern charm?). i was back in the comfort zone i never really knew i had.
i love talking about records, concerts, tunes, projects. i dig playing alongside people, creating and inventing new ideas for our ears and heads. i enjoy teaching, sharing concepts, guiding people through their personal paths in music and life. i will continue to put my kids and the wife at the center of my personal universe. but every once in a while, i need to balance myself out. i want to talk to friends about stuff that has nothing to do with my job or my passion. hanging at a basketball gym or sitting at a soccer field or being cooped up with some p90x videos doesn't always cut it.
thank you to my creston classmates for giving me some perspective and a renewed faith in society. you are wonderful people. thanks for liking me. i really needed that.
I think many people feel exactly the same way. I have made many of the same observations attending my reunions. Just be who you are because you are a great person!
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