i AM the one to judge

my philosophy on music (or at least this small sliver of it anyway) (today, for that matter) is that all of us who are chipping away at this huge stone slab known as music are entitled to our own pace and own approach. i do it my way, and certainly appreciate it when others acknowledge my path and method and progress for what they are at face value and don't get into my business - unless i ask them to offer their two cents. and, as i preach to my kids, the sure-fire way to expect that treatment from someone is to provide it to them initially and without any expectation of reciprocation. what in the heck am i saying?  i don't want somebody passing judgment on how i handle my music.  i'm my own worst critic, and honestly... that's plenty.


with that being said, part of the gig in academia is telling people how to do music better.  i tell students what needs fixing, what is working, and how to get their act together musically.  in my freelance calendar, i occasionally pick up some adjudicating work.  lots of jazz stuff (big band, combos) and some classical work.  yesterday i judged the all state competition (at one of six centers), a very cutthroat and stressful process that gives the winners the highly regarded title of all state musician.


the all state audition day is pressure packed.  a bunch of high school hopefuls all gather at the crack of dawn in some high school gymnasium, reeking of axe cologne and hair spray. pillows, sweatpants with words on the butt, all sorts of instrument cases, too many singers, ipods, buttoned-up directors, obnoxiously supportive parents, cell phones, sheet music, dorritos, mountain dew, and shoulder massage trains. each instrumentalist gets a five minute slot, which includes the following: three major scales, chromatic scale, fast etude, slow etude, and an excerpt of a solo.  i score each of these individually in addition to assessing general things like tone quality and intonation.  in the room, small talk, play the shit down, small talk, out the door. and don't even think about getting behind schedule.

as i hear these kids, most of my brain is listening critically, acting professionally, and scoring appropriately. but, a teeny tiny part of my head is making all sort of observations.  do these kids know when they are playing something wrong?  some keep right on playing, and i wonder if they know they have screwed up or if they think it's going great and they're knocking me off my feet.  does that tenor saxophone girl know that i know she didn't play f# major and instead tried to play f major?   why do some of these kids treat the chromatic scale as a traumatic experience, recklessly blasting through it with no regard for note accuracy of tone quality?  how can that girl stand on those 3" pumps and play that baritone saxophone?  when somebody nails these etudes, did the kids on deck hear them?  does that affect their playing, or not, or were they texting their friends and miss the whole thing?  does circling and marking up your music to the point where you can't even read the note names actually help?  do these kids read the color coordinated highlighter markings in their etudes?  do they kids take this audition because they want to win, because they want the experience, or because their director is making them do it? do these girls think that their outfits are flattering?  did that kid tie his own tie?  do they hope to play music later in life, in college, throughout high school, or just to pacify their parents?  do these kids really think their instrument is spelled saxaphone?  and seriously, does that one kid think it's spelled saxsophone?  


truthfully, i head several very promising young musicians. there are always more talented kids than spots in the band that i can award.  someone always plays the best they ever have, while someone else plays their worst audition ever. some kid still doesn't make the band and some kid makes it for the first time. some are freshmen, some are seniors.  it's really quite a phenomenal environment that is created by all of these emotions.  it's exhausting, both mentally and physically.


and i get nervous too...