hang on just a minute, bruno

my kids listen to pop radio.  i used to slip some ornette, david murray, and prince into their listening diet, but they have caught onto that and now establish their own musical tastes (no jazz and classical... probably because they are surrounded by it all the time at home).  they like the channel kiss 107.5 fm, which rocks all the latest hits from pitbull, katy perry, lil' wayne, lady gaga, maroon 5, taio cruz, and a bunch of other people i've never heard of before.  one guy i do like, however, is bruno mars.

here he is, with the world on a string

i think the tunes are good.  he's got a nice voice - kind of a raspy michael jackson thing.  he keeps this retro style vibe fresh and seems to collaborate with all of the latest pop stars.  plus his stage name rolls off the tongue much easier than peter gene hernandez.  his latest hit is "the lazy song". my kids really dig it, so i listened closely the other day to the lyrics.  i know the following statement makes me sound like the fuddy duddy parent i swore i would never become, but i don't want my kids listening to that song anymore.
   
* turn the tv on, throw my hand in my pants.  first of all, you guys watch way too much tv the way it is. secondly, if you want to put your hand in your pants, take it to your room.
* tomorrow i'll wake up, do some p90x.  good idea.  it's a good program, has done wonders for me, and will make you a healthier person and better athlete.
* have some really nice sex.  with your wife, i'm assuming? casual sex, especially the way bruno mars infers, is pretty risky.  and on a personal note, don't settle for "nice" sex.
* i might mess around and get my college degree.  your mother and i teach in higher ed and can both assure you that the students who mess around don't usually end up with their college degree.  take school seriously, get your butt to class, and plan on moving right along into graduate school.
* no, i ain't gonna comb my hair.  put on some clean clothes, brush your teeth, do something with that out-of-control hair, and for crying out loud put on some deodorant.
* i'll just strut around in my birthday suit.  that's okay i suppose in the comforts of your own home, but if you pull that stunt in public it's called indecent exposure and will find you in the back of a squad car heading downtown.  don't waste your one phone call on me if you're getting booked for sharing your private parts with the rest of the world.  (and here's hoping you followed through on that p90x intention.)