i have often wondered what the right etiquette is for chatting it up with performers/composers, conductors/educators after a concert. i realize that there are two sides to this - the distributor and the recipient. i also understand that a variety of backgrounds factor into this: generational style, examples made for you by others, musical genre, caliber of performance, knowledge of audience, etc. i'll present my perspective from both sides, and encourage others to weigh in with their experiences and preferences (and hopefully someone sees things the way i do...don't leave me hanging!!!)
as a performer: i'm usually cool with people telling me if they like the show, and am actually okay with comments of confusion or discomfort with my performance within reason. sometimes audience members will tell me that they got lost, turned around, or didn't get what i was trying to do. i admire someone having the stones to approach me and present that, and i DO want to know if there are some fundamental flaws in my presentation that keeps listeners who are willing to give up a couple of hours of their life for my art from getting it. the norm is for a bunch of people to wait semi-patiently to tell me they dug what i was doing, so the constructive comments can be offered and happily discussed in an appropriately brief manner. i don't want to value anyone's unsolicited comments over the next, but really am okay hearing all kinds of feedback. i think it's interesting when someone cites a particular song or improvisation (which i can never recall) as one of their favorites. i also like hearing comparisons from the listener (you sound just like ornette, have you ever heard this one zappa record, i liked that one part when you were playing with your hands crossed over on the horn, etc.) i'm not sure i try to see the comparisons or run right home and try to incorporate that stuff into what i do, but i sure do get a charge out of hearing people draw parallels for what i do. i also enjoy it when people tell me what they liked about the show itself, allowing me to understand if i tell too many jokes or talk too much or too fast or too soft. (i did a split show with one of my favorite bands at the cedar cultural center and got live recordings from both shows. the guy who ran the sound sent me the copies, and mentioned how he had to 'trim the fat' from the other band's storytelling. this is not a dis to that group at ALL; in fact, the 'fat' is an essential part to the show and a huge reason for their popularity.) it's important to note that i'm totally okay without talking to anybody after my performance. i am usually running through a million experiences in my head from what just happened, breaking them down into digestible chunks. you won't hurt my feelings at all if you hustle out the door to get a jump on the traffic or to make it home in time for the new law & order (i totally get that). i absolutely enjoy chatting it up after a performance, but my ego doesn't require it.
as a listener: i find myself trying to think of stuff to say that is intelligent and polite, make it sound like i paid attention to what was going on. as a musician, i can't help but listen critically. knowing what to say isn't too tough for me. first and foremost, i want to thank the performer for putting their neck out there and sharing their wares with an audience. i often remember specifics about what i liked and try to offer up one of them (musical moments, programming, interesting writing, etc). i don't know if they appreciate that, or if i do for that matter, but that's often what i end up doing. thanksthanksthanks and here's what i liked. a biggie for me is i don't speak after a performance with a performer if i wasn't into it. i'm not into phony comments, acting like i enjoyed it when i was ready to leave 90 minutes ago. i don't want someone feeding me that bullshit, so i'm not about to initiate the double standard. the only exceptions i make to this are for my friends and students. i want my friends to be my friends, and i want them to know that i've got their back through thick and thin. i also want to be supportive of students that are out there taking stabs at this. how many people went to concerts of mine when i was taking a dump on stuff right and left? i needed that support, and want to return the favor (does this mean i'm getting old?)
now - what do you really want to say? what do you really want to hear? i think these questions are answered on a case-by-case basis. sometimes i'm not in the mood to talk, fight the crowd, listen to a response. sometimes i'm trying to get on the road, think you won't want to talk, would really rather get some fresh air, talk to my friends about what happened instead. are these bad responses? no way - just human responses. furthermore, what exact words should i say? some of my classical friends rack their brains for next-level adjectives and adverbs and various configurations of sharing their impressive vocab, while most of my jazz/rock friends quip "yeah man", which can be interpreted in about a thousand different ways.
honestly, i don't care if someone comes up to talk to me or if i go talk to a performer. nose to the grindstone, thankful for the opportunity to share on either side of the glass, working tirelessly to be sure that i don't exit this world unfulfilled as an artist or with positive words for others left unsaid.
how about you?
This post got me thinking again about words and music and their relationship. I find myself remembering a Cat Stevens lyric. He says, “love is better than a song.” In my music appreciation class I struggle with how to educate concert- goers. I tell them that love is richer than a song about love, and that music is richer than words about music. Then I promptly TALK about music for an hour, luxuriating in the sound of my own voice while playing a few examples to illustrate my words. I tell myself it’s a necessary evil (to speak of music instead of listen to music). I tell myself that they have to go to concerts as part of the class… I watch them begin to text at about 2.5 minutes into my favorite movement of Brahm’s German Requiem, and I just stop the recording and… talk.
ReplyDeleteAs a self professed talker, I recently committed to less talk and more playing in chamber music rehearsals and yet, if words fail with my closest musical collaborators (in the end we should have just played it again instead of talking about likes and dislikes) what am I wanting to hear from an audience? I know it really is two separate issues, but for me they bleed into each other. I feel much the same as you in this post, and you have written quite eloquently.
To answer the question, I guess I enjoy to knowing from my audience if the music “worked”, that the gift of creation wasn’t only for myself. If it worked in a way that can be spoken of, then that is a special treat. I hope as a listener that I can offer the same sort of feedback when appropriate. I love to hear the thoughts of the thinking, good or bad.
I saw a Hallmark card the other day that said, “If you can’t say anything nice, come sit by me.”